My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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