Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
