oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
