Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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