he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
