I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
