Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
you had me at cake vodka
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
