like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
