I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
