I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I got inside last night via doggy door
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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