I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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