Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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