i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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