They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
