Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
