JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
