Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
