we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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