This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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