Whod you bang
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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