How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
