she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
