I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
