erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
