I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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