so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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