At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
