Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
it glows. i had to have it.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
