I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
