I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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