Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
