The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
