The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
