It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
