You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Boobs are out for the taking
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Randomize
