Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
