What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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