laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
