I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
