saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
