I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
