Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
