The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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