Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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