Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
