i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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