If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
