Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
