we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
