they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
